Danger Patrol Pocket, reskinned with exclusively filthy terms.
Except for "Two-Fisted."
(I can take up to five players, in any configuration imaginable.)"Suddenly, rearing up through the warp orifice--it's a thrashing Phallohydra! What do you do?"
"Damn," hisses Vajazzla Dentata, "Sexbot 9000 is down for the count, and I'm all out of ultralube! Anyone got any bright ideas?"
With grim determination in every line of his body, Thrust Slapjack undoes his utility belt. "If you want it fucked right," he growls, "you gotta fuck it yourself."
UPDATE: PLAYER LIST
Matthew Klein / moleculo
Morgan Stinson / Mathalus